What would it take for you to put yourself at the top of your list?
By Beth
During the months of December and January I took an informal poll. I asked women what it would take for them to put themselves on the top of their “to do” list. More time was one of the popular answers but the most recurring response shifted my thinking dramatically. Women said “a disease would put me on the top of my to-do list, but then I would be on the top of a lot of people’s lists.” “If I get a disease I would be forced to take time for myself. And there are all sorts of groups that will offer wellness programs and support for free, and people will rally to help get me well.” How does that translate for you? For me those women are saying I have no boundaries and feel I must sacrifice my own health to please others.
Does this shock you? Or do you resonate with it? For me it’s a little of both. I witnessed the sacrificing mother who would go, go, go until she dropped. Women who took time for themselves were criticized and time away from family or any service other than a haircut was considered a luxury. But in the last 10 years I’ve been blessed to know women of all ages who make their physical, emotional, and spiritual health a priority. There’s one of my best friends Gail who has faithfully put going to the gym into her daily routine for years – no matter what. Gail is in her 50’s, very fit and genuinely enjoys her life. Cheryl is also in her 50’s and brought the gift of yoga to my life. Cheryl embodies physical and mental strength. There’s Linda who in her 60’s models spiritual integrity and challenges me to move beyond my perceived limitations. And there’s my 16-year old daughter, who in spite of her mother’s dreams and fears for her has not forgotten who she is. More importantly, she’s not afraid to remind me. I want to be like her!
The results of my survey inspire me to change my thinking. I am already a firm believer that we create our own realities. That said, I do not need to get sick in order to be well. And maybe it’s time to start rallying for women who do what they need to do to take care of themselves. My friend Toni is often heard saying “don’t wait until I’m losing body parts to honor and celebrate me.” Do it now. OK Toni. One of my goals for February is to get moving to get healthy. For the rest of February I am going to move for you and the other women who are modeling self-care for me. I might be on the treadmill, running at the park, or steppin’ to the old Firm tapes – but I’ll be moving. So to Gail, Cheryl, Linda, Sara Beth, Louise, and Toni – I honor and celebrate you! Just being you makes a difference to me.
change , reinvention , wellness , women 
February 3rd, 2010
This author published 6 posts in this site.Share
Cheryl
February 3rd, 2010
Thank you, Beth, for your kind words and your affirmation of my influence on your well-being. Interestingly, my sincere quest for health began with a serious illness. I, like so many other women who spoke about the difficulty in putting themselves first, had to experience a major illness in order to find the way back to myself, and to put myself first. I was 45 years old, and caring for everyone around me – the classic overachiever. It was only when my doctor put me on a mandatory medical leave of absence, did I begin to come to grips with where I was in my life. The realization was that I could not keep on the path that I had been on, or I would be “permanently disabled”. Not being willing to accept that fate, and recognizing the fear that was keeping me from doing the right thing for myself, I began to ask the hard questions, to see things as they were and not how I wished them to be, and to make different choices (actually the hardest part). But once you make a different choice, especially one for yourself, it is so empowering. Your life opens up, your attitude improves and you feel that so much is possible. And best of all, you now know that choosing again is also a viable option. So, you are not so afraid the next time. So anyone out there who is frozen in fear, let me reassure you that the fear is far more damaging to your body, mind, and spirit than any change in circumstance. Listen to your heart and be strong for yourself.
Global Toni's Perspective
February 3rd, 2010
It’s nice to know that just by being you, you can inspire others. I am always inspired by you, Beth, as well. I thank the creator for leading me to the path back to the me he created me to be. Am I there yet? Definitely not, but on the right path for sure. I don’t even question it anymore….no matter what it looks like. I just put one step in front of the other & trust my guide. I wasn’t always this sure. I had setbacks along the way….times when I lost myself….even stopped looking in the mirror, but every time in that valley, the real me would bubble up & remind me that she was still in there when I was ready. She’s on the surface now and with each passing day, I get more & more comfortable letting her shine. I don’t care how others feel about her. Hell, they complained about the polyester, synthetic me that formed to try to fit into their ever changing acceptable image of me. I’m back & finding others from my planet. Loving life….loving me! I didn’t get sick, but I almost lost my mind. Thank God I’m wiser, stronger & not afraid. I am also moving my body daily in an effort to take care of this wonderful vessel I travel in. January was a good month & February is starting out amazingly strong. It’s going to be the best year yet & I will treasure every moment of it.
Louise Kahle
February 9th, 2010
Could it be that the first 40 or 50 years is spent uncovering your true self? It sure seems that way for me. In the past decade I quit a job that I had been doing since I was 17, knowing that I wanted to spend the rest of my life doing something that was meaningful, fun and inspiring. I accidentily (although I know there are no accidents) stumbled into my passion …. inspiring women to feel good about the way they look, and discovered that what I am most passionate about is me. I feel that I am peeling layers from myself and finding an amazing woman, a woman who is strong and self-confident and on an incredible journey.
I will turn 60 this year and it gets better and better. THIS is what I want other women to discover, too!